Alright, my homies, how y’all doing?
So today my mom wasn’t home and my Grandma was babysitting me (I turn 19 this month, and I said 19, not 9, you did not read it wrong, Jesus. And the embarrassing part comes later as well, don’t make me want to punch you).
Anyways, so my tutor came (I don’t know why but I’m always really attracted to people who are good at Maths and Physics, I find them really fascinating) and he looks 90% like Adam Ellis (That cute Buzzfeed artist) and I don’t have a crush (okay, there might be something but it’s still in pre-embryonic stage and I sort of plan to keep it that way) but my best friend finds the whole situation like a budding plot of a romcom anime and although that would require a supporting cast (and the only people around us are my sister and my mom and the only support I’ll get from them would be a slipper on my face) and the setting would require us to talk for longer than his work hours allow him to SO yeah but whenever he solves a physics problem, I just feel a caterpillar turn into a butterfly somewhere like “What a genius of a man. He solves the toughest graphs and mcq’s, God help me!”
(WHAT KIND OF A SAPPY ROMANTIC NERD AM I?!)
Anyways, today we were studying about Radiation and all those rays and he suddenly spots this really nice drawing I had drawn like fucking ages ago of this guy in my class because I really liked his position and the chair and basically because I just really wanted to draw something that was in front of me so I could show off to myself later that hey! I can draw live people too!
And he doesn’t say anything and I’m like shitshitshitshit does he think I’m a creepy girl who draws random guys when I am an otaku who did this for artistic and aesthetic purposes only and I decide to explain a bit and all I kept saying was-
“So like, this is just someone from my class. Not this one, my last class. Last year. And my Professor saw this once too and he probably thought something weird ahaha but like, no, I only liked the chair and the guy’s position (and *coughcough* his long legs) but like, it was the whole situation, okay? Like, I just wanted to draw-”
And I pause to see that he is listening very attentively to my incoherent rambling and he says, “It’s okay, it’s probably something which artists feel yknow? That they just have to draw something, right there and then” and although that was a very nice thing to say to me but I probably had my usual attack of “Let’s make an awkward situation more awkward!” and I am like, “Yes, that is true. But like, no. I’m not a – I mean, this isn’t what you- What I mean is, I don’t know why I drew this, I just- I can’t explain it”
And I realise what I’m actually trying to do here is to make him realise that NO THIS IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THIS GUY’S FACE ANYMORE I AM SINGLE AS A PRINGLE ALRIGHT I AM CRUSHING ON YOU DAMMIT
(I didn’t say all this out loud lmao)
But then my ears start burning and he is looking at me with all seriousness, like I would have felt better if he laughed or said something but nada and I decide to turn my head down to the book and start reading my topic, while on the inside I try to strangle my treacherous brain for leaving me alone in scary situations.
I hope he forgets about this soon (and I won’t because IT WILL BE ON MY BLOG IN ALL IT’S FRESH GLORY TILL THE END OF TIME) but I think now it is safe to say that my house is no longer a production room of any fetus romcom plot and my field of “Chances I had with him” lies barren.
Scratch that, there isn’t even a field anymore. My mini-anxiety attacks just dug out the whole thing. And planted it with the seeds of “Flowers of an embarrassing moment which will haunt you for the next few days” and I have to say, they are blooming really well, real fast.
•The random ass dude I drew. He was dressed really well that day though•